Wandering
by Lost Phantasm
Summary: Coming from an extended absence, a person can't expect everything to remain as is. Life will change, with or without notice.


**Author's Notes **Whoa. It's not everyday I get the urge to write a story. I suppose this is one of those few times where I feel the urge, have sufficient knowledge of the characters, storyline, and setting(s) of the respective universe to actually get off my lazy bum and do something about the ideas tinkering around in my mind.

There are some minor differences pertaining to this story. One, FFX-2 never occurred as this story takes place before the events of that game, but after the events of FFX. Rikku retains her original attire from FFX; Yuna's outfit has changed slightly to accompany the change in her personality (I'll let your imaginations run wild). Tidus, well, remains the same person as he always is.

**I actually finished this story two years ago, but I never bothered to post it up due to revision issues. Here it is, somewhat revised.**

**Summary** Coming from an extended absence, a person can't expect everything to remain as is. Life will change, with or without notice.

**Random Thought(s)** Opposites don't necessarily attract. Would a timid, aloof boy deal well with an outgoing girl? I don't believe so. When personalities clash, as in the case with Tidus and Yuna... things get rather messy, especially if you argue with me. I will admit to this - in the realm of Fan Fiction, the possibilities are endless.

**Disclaimer**(s) I don't own the Final Fantasy series created by Square Enix.

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><p><strong>Wandering<strong>

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><p><em>I remember the first time I washed upon the shore of this new world, unsure of how or when I was dropped off by that colossal orb levitating in Zanarkand. I remember the time when I woke up, unsure of where I was - for all I could see were ruins. Water was all around me. I remember the time when I walked alone in a damaged structure, fidgeting around a small fire I had started to keep me warm. I remember the time when a fiend ambushed me, when a girl came and aided my fight against the damn thing.<em>

_I remember the time when the girl pulled a fast one while her friends, or whoever they were, held their weapons by my neck - threatening to kill me, speaking a tongue I knew not to be familiar. I remember the time when the girl woke me up, spoke to me in Spiran, and how I was glad that there was somebody who could understand me. I remember those green spirals - they were nothing like I'd ever seen before._

_I remember the time when the girl held her staff, speaking softly to the children, praised by elders as a great person to bring peace to Spira - the person who I saw in two different color eyes. I remember swimming in a lake surrounded by glowing crystals, moving in and touching her lips - I remember._

_I remember._

_I remember her confessing her feelings for me - I remember not being able to look her in the eye as I returned. I remember being unsure of my feelings, unsure of who I liked, unsure whether I was fickle or not._

_I remember everything._

_I could never forget her smile as I turned, about to plunge into my destiny - I can never forget her depression as I left her and her feelings - she and I could not be. _

_Why did I like her? Why did I like her?_

_I remember everything about the two - I could never forget those two. One was my first friend in this place - the other I came to know as a great person._

_I remember when she said those three words - I remember not knowing how to respond, questioning my feelings for her in return - I remember looking back one last time, seeing her smile not quite reach her eyes._

_There is so much to remember, and too much to forget._

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><p>"Tidus?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we met."

That soft whisper, almost weak voice I've come to know as Yuna had always brought forth an admiration. From the first time I laid eyes on her, I knew I was looking at a selfless person, one who would willingly give her life for the world's happiness.

She spoke with greater tone and passion. She was no longer the person she was - she'd grown stronger.

The ex-summoner stood next to me, the darkness about to overcome the vanishing light as the time expired. Standing erect, I crossed my arms, unable to settle the confusion brought about by her. I knew I had feelings for her - I couldn't understand what they were. Often times, I felt an excessive desire to be around her, to protect her - not because I'm a guardian, but because I want to - not because of my duty, but because of my will.

"Yeah. Me too."

I've learned a lot from her. Ever since I opened my eyes to see Besaid Island, I knew I was in for some deep experiences. Blitzball with Wakka would become something I would treasure to this day - one of the things which bounded me to this world - this new Spira, this Zanarkand, whatever it was - blitzball connected me to this new life. There was Lulu, the mysterious black mage who Wakka seemed to desire - or at least, from what I could observe.

Kimahri - I never quite got the chance to know him that well - but then again, I didn't get the chance with over three-fourths of our group. But behind that hard exterior is a kind soul, I'm sure. A quiet, reserved soldier, he smiles, still - connected to his summoner in ways unimaginable, he was a man of commitment. He's back on the Gagazet Mountain rebuilding the Ronso spirit, the last time I checked.

Auron - I haven't seen him in a while. Of course, with him being dead and all, I didn't expect to see him around. I expected him to vanish - he did tell me that once he completed his purpose, he wouldn't play with life again. The most memorable moment with him was when he finally succumbed to Rikku's wishes along the Thunder Plains. _Fine. We stay. She's worse than the storm. _

Rikku... I get uncomfortable when I talk about her around Yuna for some reason. When I confronted her after declaring my love for her cousin, I just, well, I couldn't really look her in the eye anymore. There was this pang of guilt ravaging me from the inside ever since I laid my eyes on her. Something was wrong, I know it. Nevertheless, while on our journey, I ignored that sentiment, choosing to focus on Yuna instead.

Yuna needed a guardian to support her - support her in ways unimaginable. If I hadn't come out of the sea that day, maybe Yuna wouldn't have defeated Sin - she would have been struck down by one of her friends, the fayth which supported her Final Aeon - a great irony indeed. Yuna was on a pilgrimage to obtain the power necessary to pierce Sin's armor - something Maester Mika called the "Final Aeon", which we ultimately obliterated all chances of retrieving once we sent Yunalesca to the Farplane.

Sin is eternal. _Right._ The Yevon religion turned out to be a hypocrisy - the beliefs given by the maesters, the maesters betrayed - Spira turned out to be a spiral of death. The very things Yevon preached, the very things Wakka and Lulu believed - the Al Bhed and its use of machina, which brought upon the eternal damnation for all of the earth to share - by attaining purity, by atoning for our sins, can Sin truly be vanquished - all lies. Despite being betrayed by the temples of Spira, Yuna pressed forward - she continued to fight for the same people who had betrayed her.

No person in a right state of mind would do that.

Except, of course, a person named Yuna.

With my arms crossed beneath my head, I laid back, taking in the depths of the cerulean sky like I did never before. I came to enjoy my life more in Spira than I did in my Dream Zanarkand, probably because there was nothing left of _my _Zanarkand. For the longest time, I had no clue how I ended up in this place. One thing, I was playing blitzball, then this giant blob comes out of nowhere and sucks me in! I ended up in a deserted temple, with nobody around - isolation comforted me. That was all I had, until by chance, Rikku showed up and rescued me. I never forgot what she did next.

Sin, however, attacked me again - the guy inside Sin was my father. He would continue to come after me, because, well, I'm his son - he loves me. That will never change. I hated him at one point, but when I finally met my father again after ten years, I couldn't take the tenderness he directed at me. The most I could say, despite my feelings, was "I hate you". I couldn't believe myself. With my father in my arms, whispering his last words, that was all I could do.

I didn't know what happened to him when he was lost at sea, vanished from a decade of my life, to return in the most unexpected fashion known to humanity - as some gigantic monstrosity the world feared. I blamed him for my mother's death, everything - but, that changed... thank you, Yuna, for giving me that opportunity.

"What are you going to do now? The world no longer requires you, as, well, you defeated Sin. You can rest now, right? Haven't you thought of settling down?"

Funny for how an eighteen-year-old like me could actually say something like that to, um, another eighteen-year-old. Yeah, that's right. Yuna and I are of the same age... at least, I think so. Mature, supposedly, we are. I'd like to think that after my absence, Yuna would never change from the person she was - boy, was I wrong. I know I haven't changed - much. I woke up one day, seeing Besaid Island above as I drove myself out of the sea to take a breath of air.

It was just like when I was dropped here in the first place - lost, doing my best to survive - lonely. Night time - I believe, if I recall correctly I saw no sunlight at that time - just a few lamps burning in the homes of villagers on the beach. Ocean mist illuminated my senses, the absence of cold made clear when I emerged from the water. The wet slabs of sand nearly dug me back into the earth, but I moved forward. Wakka had to be around, I know it. But judging from the absence of human bodies and light, I'd say everybody was already asleep. Lucky. I just opened my eyes, drowned in the depths of the ocean, forced to drag myself up to the surface - while they're lying comfortably in their homes. As if I had a home to return to.

Nobody would greatly appreciate it if I unexpectedly took refuge in one of their homes, so I figured the next best thing would be to set up a decent place to rest. The system of roping I saw back at the beach should work... I rested there for the night, reminiscing the good times I had with Yuna, Kimahri, Auron, Wakka, Lulu, and Rikku. Would I ever have such an experience with them again? Probably not. Sin is gone. There's no more need for Guardians like me. Auron is gone, I'm supposed to have never existed, yet here I am; would my reappearance tamper the normality of the lives they established afterward?

Probably. But, nevertheless, I'm here. I didn't know where else I belonged. If I didn't belong with them, then I would be alone in this world. And being alone in this world, well, I didn't want to think about it - but I did.

_The moon looks awfully pretty tonight._

The battering loss of heat I didn't mind too much. By the sea, the most I could feel was cool - nothing too hot, nothing too cold - bearable.

I wondered when the sun would rise and bring life back to this place.

For now, I suppose, I should settle down until Wakka shows up.

"Hey, brudda. Wake up, ya!"

I opened my eyes, seeing nothing but a black void - oh, wait. I hadn't opened my eyes yet. There we go.

The sunlight illuminated the area, and I could see perfectly that I was on some home-made mattress; a thick colored blanket lay on top, and I found myself wrapped in a warm sweater, probably knitted by Lulu. I tried getting up, but I found that my back didn't agree with my action - a sharp twitch, and I was back on the mattress again.

"Ugh..."

That had to be Wakka who woke me up.

Another person immediately jumped into my mind - Yuna. Where is she? Would she be in joy as to witness my return? Would I be a prick in her life, the new one she began without me? Would she cry, embrace me, slap me? How would she greet me? Is she even here in Besaid Island? Would she be still helping people? Would she welcome me back without comment?

"Tidus, what are you doing, coming back from the dead like that? You scared me, no, us, ya!"

I turned my attention to him - he looked the same as always. Just as I remembered him - cheery, a bit skeptical about the Al Bhed, always keeping an eye on Lulu - he sat by the bed, his face a mixture of disbelief and preoccupation. Yeah, I would expect that. I jumped off Cid's airship and vanished for a year - then I pop back from nowhere. Right.

"Geez, Wakka, the first thing I get when I come back is a scolding! Where's the party?"

I massaged my temples, after unsuccessfully attempting to remove the sweater Wakka supposedly forced on me.

"You scared the living daylights out of me! Thank goodness you've come back!"

Now the only question was... how did I end up here in the first place? I'm sure I was sleeping, isolated out on the beach shore. How did somebody find me? Judging from the light I could see from the window, I'd say it's still early in the morning... meaning it wasn't for a few hours since I've been discovered.

"How... how did I get here?"

"Rikku found you. She came early this morning to deliver something from her father Cid, and she happened to see you resting alone on the beach, with no shelter or nothin'!"

Rikku?

As if on cue, I felt a hand on my forehead - turning to see the owner of that hand, I was met with an incredible gaze of soft, emerald eyes. Wide alert, filled with concern - spiffy as always. But I hadn't noticed her presence there until Wakka gave a shout-out to her - was she here all this time?

"Hey..." I wasn't able to break away from her gaze. So alluring, so - so - intense. Did she ever have this much concern for my self-being? I know she and Yuna shared quite a bond, so close and so intimate - despite them having met each other only at the Moonflow Bank for the first time.

The Al Bhed gave a small twitch of her lips, and held her other hand on her forehead, comparing the difference in temperatures.

"You're heating up," she stated boldly.

I almost forgot about Wakka sitting on the other end of the bed. "Well, I'll leave you two alone. I see you two want some time to talk." I saw that wink Wakka gave me, as if he wanted me to do something with Rikku - did something happen with Yuna? Why would he encourage me to talk with Rikku? Maybe she had the answers as to what had been going on.

But first, I had to break the barrier.

"Did you carry me here?" I did my best to avoid teasing her, though in my mind, yes, I was.

She replied promptly, "Yeah. I don't remember you being that heavy the last time I carried you."

Ah, yeah. The first time she socked me in the gut, then pulled me onto her boat. I clearly remember that. But that wasn't the main point here... I wasn't able to sit upright, as a rather painful sensation knocked me down every single time - I didn't bother to try anymore.

Giggling, she continued, "You're such a dummy-head for sleeping out in the cold. This morning I found you all bundled up, without anything... just lying there without anything. Why didn't you bother asking for help?"

I had never seen this side of Rikku before. Ever. Okay, maybe I might have seen this persona of hers spark out when she was worried about Yuna, but when did she ever, ever put this much care and effort into me? The most we had was at best a relationship where we both tried to save Yuna, where we teased each other - it wasn't much.

I did remember, back in Guadosalam, when I aimed to take a break from the group - to have some time alone as to discern my thoughts about Seymour's proposal to Yuna - did she even love Seymour? Marriage in Spira, it seemed, was different from back in my Dream Zanarkand. If Rikku hadn't followed me up the ledge that time, I would have never found out the different circumstances which governed marriage in this place. And that wouldn't have happened if I had never said... well, it's kind of difficult to say this, but... I did say to her that, well, I would rather have her.

I didn't know where those words came from - I wasn't sure if I was serious or just teasing her.

...I wasn't sure if I loved Yuna, either. I did know she attracted me in some form.

Love. What the hell is love? Did it even exist?

Why bother asking...

"I didn't want to disturb anybody. I figured everybody would be sleeping, so..."

"So what!"

Whoa. Did she just raise her voice...? Her grip on my hand - I could feel her concern, her frustrations, worries, and soul. I had never seen her like this before - I didn't know exactly what to do... That lovely frown overtook her usual staple smile, making me reconsider the possible consequences of my words.

"You should at least ask one of the villagers - or heck, try to find somebody you know to lend you a hand! You could have asked _me _to help you!"

Did she change this much in one year? When did she become this massive worry-wart, when did she worry so much about anything, anybody? Seeing people worry over me like this - I haven't seen anything like it since my mother died. Sure, Yuna worried a great deal, but not as much as this. The most she ever got out was an "I love you", but that was when, well, I would disappear. With Rikku here...

"Oh? You would _help _me with something?" I smirked.

I waited to see her reaction. Knowing her, it'd probably be something along the lines of-

"That's not what I meant, you big meanie!"

My hand felt cold without hers grasped around it. She gave me this weird look, almost as if she were about to cry... or was she feigning anger? I didn't want to find out. Besides, seeing an angry Rikku is never good. Never, EVER. That's like socking her several times in the gut just because you felt like it. She couldn't stay angry at a person for long - she would forgive others.

I belonged here, right...?

"Y'know, I knew I would see you again. I just had that feeling..." She looked thoughtful, her hand supporting her chin as she found interest in the bed sheets in front of her eyes. I watched as she slowly raised her gaze towards me, every moment as a tease - a blink of her eye revealed much about her. I eyed her lips closely.

I couldn't do much as she jumped onto the bed, holding both of my arms hostage to prevent me from pushing her away - as if I could push her away in my physical condition - then happily wrapped her arms around my neck as she snuggled against it. Paralyzed, surprised, at the very least - that's how I felt. I'd expect this kind of welcome from Yuna, but from Rikku? No way in hell did I have a chance.

"What would you do without me?" she muttered.

I wasn't quite sure where this was leading, but I did know if somebody walked in on us now, we would be totally screwed. But hey, I'm sure the people would understand. Others would probably do the same, right?

I settled with enjoying this once-in-a-life time embrace from Rikku, eager to return her hug, ready as ever to receive another warm welcome from this perky Al Bhed once more. I whispered softly into her ear a "Thanks, Rikku." I never did manage to properly give my gratitude - this was the second time she had saved my life.

Yeah, I'm grateful to her. If she hadn't taken me in, I would have died in this place.

I felt her lips twitch - I swear, when did she ever bother getting this close? Not that I didn't mind, who wouldn't be pleased at receiving a teddy bear hug from one of your friends, but still...

It was getting rather comfortable to fall back asleep.

"No problem. That's what friends are for, right?"

This girl confused me. Period. She hollers a "Syopa cusatyo!" at me, then runs off to a ledge in Guadosalam - to which I had to follow her just to even have an opportunity to ask her "What the heck did you just say?" Probably something she didn't want known to me in Al Bhed. Probably. Instead of asking her the question, she tells me about her wishes of marriage. Well, considering how Sin is gone now, she can take her time with romance.

I began wondering right about now... did I feel anything for Rikku? Did she feel anything for me? This rather blunt exchange of affection was welcoming, but somewhat out of character for her. I suppose this was when I truly began to consider her as more than just a friend - when I began questioning my feelings, for Yuna and her cousin - Rikku was right in front of me, lying by my side, separated only by a thick woolly blanket Wakka had provided. That thing we call "love", what ever the darn thing is, hits us when we least expect it.

Where was Yuna?

I'm sure Wakka had probably informed her by now; she'd probably be coming to see me soon.

I wondered though, what Rikku would do when Yuna came. Would she ignore this incident? She always put herself second to her cousin, even if it meant denying her own feelings - could it be... did Yuna move on already? ...I didn't think now would be a great time to ask those questions. Perhaps, though, I should be asking Rikku what happened during the past year...

I'm sure they will come.

"Did you do anything interesting while I was gone?"

"I'm just helping Pops rebuild the Al Bhed home. Kimahri's rebuilding the Ronso tribe, Wakka and Lulu are having a child..."

"Wait, really?" The two finally admitted their feelings for each other?

I was definitely awake now. Seeing Rikku's eyes bearing into mine within this proximity would serve to combat drowsiness as well.

"Yeah! I know you saw it coming, too, Tidus." She gave me a curt smile, man, this was too close, I wanted to ask her to give me some personal space - the hug was all right, but now it was just getting a bit too odd for my tastes. She's only sixteen; I wouldn't expect her to be doing this type of stuff... or maybe there's something else that I haven't seen of her... or maybe I'm just taking this situation into entirely new proportions.

"It's about time." I gave a grin of my own, only to be met by one more.

No, really. Something was up here.

I heard mention of everybody but Yuna.

"Where's Yuna? What's she doing?"

I hadn't realized that her name would affect Rikku this much. I wish I could take my words back, as, well, as soon as I mentioned Yuna's name, Rikku flinched immediately. She turned away from me, as if I did her a horrible sin. During the pilgrimage, I had a hunch, that, well, the others had a hunch about what had happened between Yuna and me. I mean, Yuna did openly declare her affection for me, so...

...But why would Rikku turn away from the mention of her name? Did something happen between the two? Or maybe... maybe Yuna wasn't the only person who saw me more as just a friend on the pilgrimage. Would that mean...?

Does that mean...

...Did I like her all this time? Not exactly... right? I mean, sure, Rikku _looks _cute, but _is _she cute? Yeah, I admit, seeing her for the first time in that skin-tight swim-suit did wonders later; at first, my mind was preoccupied by the fiend - she was the only person to come up and help me defeat the monster. I didn't really realize what had happened between us until Sin - my father - knocked me off her boat, I hadn't realized that she stepped out of her way to help me, a person she just met - a stranger - who helps strangers, especially those who just pop out of nowhere?

I remember the first time I saw her eyes - really saw her eyes. Those spirals continued to lure me into her, even to this day. Al Bhed - the first time I heard that term, I had no idea what Rikku was talking about. The talk about Yevon, and Zanarkand being a holy place, destroyed a thousand years ago, thinking I had traveled a millennium into the future, the Al Bhed being blamed, scapegoated for the world's problems... but what I did know was that on that boat, Rikku was the only person who understood me - and that Rikku was the only person who wanted to help me.

The blonde turned her attention back to me, seeing as how she was sitting back on her chair, and the lack of body warmth seemed unnerving.

"She's... she's helping the people of Spira rebuild their government. Yunie's found her new place in the world after you've left... but now that you're back, I don't know what will happen."

With her hands crossed, settled upon her lap, she found her fingers more interesting than, well, me. I didn't want to say anything bad - but from what Rikku just said to me, I feared that I might be intruding into Yuna's life, the one she worked hard to build after me.

I hesitated, but nevertheless, I spoke. "So she's found somebody new?"

She continued staring everywhere but at me. I wonder why.

"Yeah... She... she's already accepted that you wouldn't come back... she started seeing another man about a month ago."

I wondered why it was always Rikku who had to break the news to me.

"Hmm... I couldn't expect to come back after a year, and live life as normal, huh? I figured as much. I thought I might be intruding in people's lives, that people wouldn't be happy to have me back..."

"Well, yeah... um... hey! I'm glad you're back, Tidus. I've really missed you!" She looked up, and I could finally see that smile reach her eyes.

At least this time, we greeted each other properly. Remember the last time we ran into each other after Sin kicked me off her boat? Yeah, I beat her up in that machine, saw her strip herself of that swimsuit, then found out that, well, I beat her up. Haha, man, that was funny. Good thing she wasn't hurt.

A part of me was hit hard by what Rikku revealed. Yuna... Yuna had moved on. Coming back here would complicate things, right? It'd probably be best if she didn't know of my return. Knowing Wakka, though, there would be a big celebration later.

"I'm glad I'm here, too. I'm glad that I have another chance at life."

Yeah. Another chance to see where I belonged in this place. With Wakka, playing blitzball? Maybe with the Al Bhed and Rikku? I quickly began to see the latter choice becoming more painfully attractive, seeing as how... actually, maybe I shouldn't finish that sentence.

Rikku smiled once more.

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><p>As expected, Wakka really did throw that party. Kimahri dropped by from the Gagazet Mountain just to give me a heads up, and seeing how the man had changed so drastically during the past year, heck, even being able to crack a joke, smile, even - things really had changed. I couldn't expect to come back and begin where I left off. The world wasn't like that. Lulu and Wakka announced that they would be having a child - damn, I missed their wedding. Rikku stayed around, although she did mention earlier she had work to do back at Home. Yuna... Yuna arrived to the party last.<p>

When I got my first look at her, I knew she wasn't the same person.

She was... not who I expected her to be. Yuna had changed, just like Rikku had mentioned earlier. She no longer looked like the calm, humble summoner I journeyed with - she wasn't the person who I came to admire in time for her selflessness. Yuna... Yuna just _looked _different. There was this nagging feeling in the back of my mind, though, to give her a chance, as appearances aren't everything - that even if a person changed her attire, that she hadn't changed on the inside - that little thing called hope would lead me to find answers. I needed answers. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be able to move on.

Yuna gave me a hug, but it didn't quite match her expression. It wasn't like a lover's embrace - more like a hug out of courtesy. A year had changed all of this... I found it extremely difficult to believe that I was comfortable with letting her go like this. Nevertheless, I popped the question.

"Can we talk privately?" I noted how she wasn't able to look me in the eye - I didn't like where this was leading.

A bit unsure of herself, she told me she would.

There was a total lack of emotion from this girl, and I knew for sure that my hope had let me down. Yuna no longer held romantic feelings for me. I had to push through, I had to wrap this up on a friendly note, to see if she saw any value in me as a person.

I wasn't able to start the conversation. Yuna took the initiative - something I came to expect ever since I noticed the change in her personality.

"Tidus?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we met."

There were some words that I knew would end anything between us. Like a parting zephyr beside a pond, some things are just meant to go down in flames. Press fire, and that's what you get - sometimes. You press that button, and something is sure to happen - anything _but _fire. It's hot for a while, endures for a short era - but eventually, that fire will burn out. What would last, then?

"Yeah, me too."

I watched the sun drift beneath the horizon, ready to shed light upon the denizens on the other side of the world. At that moment, a thought drifted into my mind... sunsets signal an end; sunrises are the beginning of something new... that'd be something Rikku would say... wait, why am I thinking about her?

"What are you going to do now? The world no longer requires you, as, well, you defeated Sin. You can rest now, right? Haven't you thought of settling down?"

I was careful to avoid saying things like "we" and anything that could imply that we had a relationship at all. I didn't want to put any pressure on Yuna - I'm sure she's found her happiness somewhere, and I'm probably just screwing it all up by even existing - even though I'm just a dream. I could disappear at anytime... so I would be sure to cherish my time here. Though I'm just a phantasm, people retained memories of me - I'm more than just a dream.

But in all reality, I wanted to hear from her directly - that she had moved on. That would be the greatest thing I could ask for right now.

"I have... but, the people of Spira still need me. Spira is in chaos, and the government has split into different factions. People are beginning to accept the Al Bhed, but tensions still remain. The Guado no longer have a leader, and are in disarray. I can't rest when I know I have the power to help them - I helped bring the Eternal Calm. People will listen to me - I can use my influence for the good of all Spira."

I turned to look at her - she stared at the sunset, looking as jolly as ever. If there was one thing that would remain constant, despite her changes - it was her undeniable desire to help others.

How could I not be?

Yuna walked promptly back to where the others were; I decided to stay here for a bit longer, until the sun set fully. I didn't know what to do now. I'd probably stay with Wakka for a while, seeing as how being in intimate contact with Yuna would probably further disrupt her life - but then, what would I do? I could go with Kimahri for a bit, to help him with his kind - or I could ask Rikku if she needed any help.

I decided to come back - I didn't want anybody worrying about me. The guest of honor - me - if I were missing, they'd surely notice.

I stood in the background, enjoying the festivities - feeling a bit alone as Wakka had his arm around my shoulder, occasionally asking "What's wrong, brudda?" with my reply of "Nothing." The first thing that popped up was... where's Rikku? She was here earlier, wasn't she? It wasn't like Rikku to skip out on festivities. She _loves _parties, any kind of party - she's usually the life of _all_ parties. Her absence stuck out like a sore thumb.

I didn't see Yuna around - she must have left before I came here.

Strange - I thought I would be more welcomed back here, yet I couldn't help but feel like a stranger to my own party. I couldn't expect to come back here, have a happily ever after ending, settle down with my once lover, and expect to be normal - how foolish of me.

I wandered off once more, seeing as how the party would go on with or without me. They cared, I know they did - but not enough - two people were now gone from the fiesta - me, and Rikku. She probably had some business at Home - ugh, I figured I would be alone tonight.

Watching the sun set at the beach was one thing, but seeing the sea at night, when the moon light eradicated the darkness - that was a total different story. This was nothing compared to a day's end - nothing, I tell you.

I was ready to cry. My father scolded me about always crying, because I always cried - even over the tiniest things. I remember Auron lecturing me about what I did back in Dream Zanarkand, where one of my mistakes cost my team the game, when I shed tears over a misunderstanding - it was just a game, but I had let my teammates down. Even to his end, my father continued to be, well, my father - I hate you - _I love you_ - you always cry - you're my son.

"It's okay for people to cry." I jolted, froze in place.

I was pretty damn sure I was alone - the thought of another person seeing me at my weakest did a number on my pride. I couldn't imagine who it would be - I wanted the person to be Rikku, my heart demanded that she be the person - but my heart usually led me astray - hopes, when crushed, are doleful - there aren't any funerals here, except for the sending summoners practiced, to guide the dead to their eternal rest. The Unsent are generally considered to be dangerous - I knew of an exception. But enough about the dead - that isn't why I'm here.

Quickly regaining my composure I turned my body a full circle around, seeing my hope right there.

There she was, standing with her hands behind her back, looking at me in this uttermost attractive fashion. She leaned closer, to which I retreated a bit, as my personal space didn't like being intruded upon swiftly as Rikku is known for. Speedy, yes. Spontaneous? Definitely. Sneaky? Hell yes, just like now. A memory of Rikku crawling on all fours in the Thunder Plains came to mind - man, that was weird, when she clung to my leg - I'd half expect Rikku to cling onto Yuna's leg or something - but mine? C'mon!

"Hey."

"Hey."

This wasn't your typical "hey" - it was more like a "hey" not to say hello, more like to acknowledge each other, more like the kind where we're both aware of some sort of strange phenomena, like when two timid children of the opposite gender meet up with each other, both want to get to know the other more and try to overcome their diffidence.

"You... you were crying, weren't you?" she asked, tenderly brushing one of her fingers across my cheek. I hadn't realized this then, but... when had I ever cried in front of them? When had I ever shown weakness in front of the party - while on the pilgrimage? I had to be strong, though, because people relied on me - I _was _a Guardian - I had to be strong - Guardians had to be - must be - strong. Strong for people like Yuna - for people like Rikku, who needed support the most.

I didn't know why, but I always seemed to deny having any weakness at all. "No, I wasn't." I honestly didn't remember if there was anything rolling down my cheeks, I didn't think I would feel anything, considering how I'm out here by the beach during the night wearing only a shirt and shorts, it'd be cold - but looking at Rikku and her attire, I'd say she's the one who should be cold.

I couldn't face her like this - this girl's cousin let me go - and now, that same girl is right in front of me.

"Where were you?" I didn't feel like talking about why I cried.

With her hands clasped behind her back, it looked like she was doing some sort of stretch. She kept looking at me like _that_, that oddly cute, bubbly manner which indicated I was intimidating her in some aspect. "I didn't feel the mood... something was wrong, y'know? That's what my sixth sense told me."

"Why aren't you celebrating with Wakka and the others? It's _your _party, right?"

"Yeah." I walked over to her side - apparently, Rikku had trouble keeping her eyes above the ground for more than a second or two - I wanted to save her from the trouble. I didn't want her to _go_ through the _trouble_. She's still young.

This was strange. Foreign. Unfamiliar. Peculiar.

When had I ever been unable to talk to this girl? Ever? When had there ever been tensions between us? I didn't want to think of her like this - she isn't a replacement - I mean, jumping from one girl to the next - I don't want to think of her like that. I... I needed some time alone. But not now. Not now, when I have an opportunity right here, right now.

"I... I didn't feel it, either. My heart wasn't in it." I didn't belong _here_. I didn't feel as if I belonged _here_.

If I didn't belong here, then I'd be alone in this place - that's what I thought at first.

"I could tell." Rikku - you couldn't hide much from her. She's an expert at manipulating her own emotions - too good to the point where the only time you could even _see _her lying was in isolation. I always thought there would be something behind that persistent blissful facade, Rikku couldn't just be happy _all the time_, there had to be something which made her that way.

I took a few steps forward, flinching a bit when I felt the warm water brush against my feet. Without looking back, I knew Rikku had done the same - hearing a second set of footsteps and her calm voice was more than enough.

"The moon looks awfully pretty tonight." I agreed with her - just as it was several nights before.

"Back in Zanarkand - my Zanarkand - it _was _better than this. Whenever the moon came around, you could see it - it was this giant white circle in the sky - it was our sun during the night. Every night I would take a few minutes to watch the moon light - because it mesmerized me - because it looked so damn _beautiful_."

Rikku gave me a questioning stare - but remained silent.

"Here, in Spira - I never thought I would sit down with a close friend and admire the moon after the sun set." Rikku would be able to get things without me spelling things out - I couldn't say the same for the reverse.

"To think, if I hadn't taken you back with me, you wouldn't be here right now. I made the right choice back there."

"You didn't have to do what you did, though. Y'know, the hit? That was too much. But dang, you have quite a punch." I ran a hand over my stomach, almost feeling the sensation again when Rikku delivered one to my gut.

I turned to look at her, seeing her form relaxed as she rested with her eyes closed, her arms crossed beneath her hair. Standing erect I had to look down, staring, I did, raising an eye when she opened one of hers to eye me. "What?"

Shaking my head, I responded, "Nothing." Right. As if there was nothing going through my mind at that moment. The thought of looking at Rikku as nothing more than a friend became nearly non-existent, but I forced myself to relive the dilemma. Denying emotions, lying to oneself and refusing to admit that thoughts of Rikku crossing the friend zone have risen - I knew I was setting myself up for a trap later on, especially if Rikku strongly hinted her feelings toward me, assuming she had any at all. The chance of that assumption being a lie - I highly doubted it.

Taking the Al Bhed's cue I soon took her same position, only right next to her.

"How many stars do you think are up there?" Rikku asked.

Gazing upward there were uncountable numbers of small lights. Back in my Zanarkand, I couldn't see this many; the lights destroyed all but the full moon. I don't remember ever seeing a sight like this, nor do I recall spending time seeing a sight with another person. I do remember, though, seeing a glimpse of the night sky as Zanarkand slept for one second.

Amazing.

"More than I have fingers."

"Hmm..."

I wanted to enjoy my time alone with Rikku - but a part of me nagged me consistently to turn and take a good look at her face. There was no point in resisting. I wanted to take the path with her and see where it led - I did, I really did. And... well, I didn't know it then, but my wish would come true. People change not only for the worse, but for the better - I saw it right before my eyes.

"I bet each one represents a possibility - because they are endless."

"Yeah. I never would have thought I would have found you sleeping there," Rikku motioned towards the spot where I took my first rest after resurrecting, "and I didn't think you would come back. Ever."

"I'm here, right?"

Turning, she replied, "Yeah. You're here. You're at home."

I started thinking then - that I did belong to this place, that maybe I had been hanging around the wrong crowd for too long - that all that time, I had been focusing on the wrong things - things which I thought were essential to this new life - things which I believed to be true - that Yuna and I would marry, that she and I would have children - I realized then that maybe I should spend more time with different people.

"Hey... Rikku?"

"Huh?" Her eyebrows were slightly raised, her lips parted as to give a distinct image.

Giving her a warm smile, I told her, "Thank you."

Nothing would ever replace the facial expression she gave me afterward. Ever. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for her smile, nor the tinge of red that spread throughout her cheeks, nor those eyes, how they captivated me - I wouldn't trade Rikku for anything.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong> Whew. I believe I may have written some characters out of character, but I did my best to portray them as they would probably react in the situations described in this story. I attempted to add some symbolic scenes, i.e. Tidus emerges from the water, how the moon represents a person in the story (think carefully!), to give more flesh to the story. A lot of terms are hidden in the story, if you choose to read for pleasure - I hinted at future events.

I thank you, the reader, for taking the time to look through these eight-thousand-ish words. I do not plan on writing a sequel to this story; I don't believe I have the stamina to write another.

Reviews are greatly appreciated.


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